ManWeight

BroadWeight

It was Jamie’s first date with a manweight she’d met at a bar, Wicked Willies, over the weekend. That Monday, a coworker had offered her two tickets to a Knicks game. Instead of calling her best girlfriends, as Jamie normally would, she called the manweight. I mean, how cool would she be? A girl taking a guy to the Knicks game for a first date…that screams cool chick. And what better place to have a practically blind date? (Jamie barely remembered what the manweight looked like (besides the fact he looked really good in his t-shirt), so it had to be a public place). Madison Square Garden is totally public and if they had nothing to say to each other they could always just watch the game. Plus, with the price of a beer, there was no way she could get embarrassingly drunk. Jamie waited for her weight outside of MSG, looking at every buff, black guy that walked by with suspicion. Then he appeared. This guy’s broad, muscular shoulders filled out his hoody as well as they had his t-shirt. That had to be him. He strolled up to her, “Jamie?” he asked. “Yes!” replied Jamie, proud she could pick his body out of a crowd as well as she had the night she’d met him. They made their way inside to their seats. It was then Jamie realized the kind of weight she was dealing with; BroadWeight. He took up his chair plus some, and in a good way. He was so muscular he could barely contain himself in his seat. BroadWeight’s quad muscles pressed against his jeans, as if they were trying to burst free. He struggled to find a comfortable position to rest his massive arms and, fortunately for Jamie, that position would be around her. Just like the cliché move to yawn and stretch, BroadWeight extended one of his wonderfully large arms around her, encompassing her whole upper body. It felt so good to be surrounded by manweight. From tip off to fourth quarter buzzer, Jamie reveled in the comfort, and weight, of her BroadWeight. If the weight was this amazing in plastic, stadium seats, Jaime imagined how amazing it would be somewhere softer, say oh, a bed. (PS It was even better in bed).