BreakWeight

After a wild college party at the football teams house, Alexis was having her own tackle session in the sack. She’d found herself a solid slab of manweight at the party and brought him back to her place. He was tall, muscular, cute and, not that it mattered, pretty smart. A fine piece of weight. It wasn’t long until Alexis and BreakWeight were in a private huddle in the top bunk of her dorm room. She was really into it…all the rolling around, slamming themselves back and forth against the wall and the rail alongside of the bed. The weight was amazing but apparently very heavy and before they new what was happening the bed collapsed beneath them and they were now in the bottom bunk. The bed had completely given out beneath the weight of the weight!!! (Thank goodness Alexis’ roommate had been sexiled or she could have been killed!) Now that’s one extreme heavyweight!

LeanWeight

Like many romances these days, Rachel and the manweight we’ll call LeanWeight began their courtship online, via email and IM. She was skeptical about actually meeting up with LeanWeight. Even though he was sweet as can be and they had, according to Gmail, over 85 emails in two weeks, his Wall Street appearance wasn’t usually the look Rachel went for. He was a nice Jewish guy, with a tall and lean figure. Despite her shallow reservations, something told her to meet him for a couple drinks. He was much cuter in person. She was attracted to him…well, except for his “I’m kinda of a big deal” t-shirt. After a few get-to-know-you and see-if-you’re-not-a-psycho drinks, LeanWeight suggested staying and eating some dinner to which Rachel replied, “I don’t do dinner on the first date.” She was eventually persuaded and they ordered some delicious bar food (quesadillas, chicken fingers and wings). All this eating was a sure sign Rachel was feeling totally comfortable. With their bellies full and a full on buzz, LeanWeight walked her home. Because LeanWeight had been such a gentleman all night, Rachel was not expecting him to try more than a peck on the cheek. But when LeanWeight leaned in for a kiss, he leaned in hard. They began passionately making out against the wall of Rachel’s apartment building. He was leaning into her so hard she could officially label him good weight. After a ten minute make out session he asked if she was sure she didn’t want him to come upstairs. Rachel declined the very tempting suggestion of more manweight, even though all she could think about was his weight (oh and his manmeat) after the hottest kiss she’d ever had. LeanWeight texted her 20 minutes later to say what a great time he’d had and what a wonderful kisser she was. He couldn’t wait to see her again. Rachel made him wait and to this day she is still thoroughly enjoying his manweight all the time.

ProWeight

Amanda, a recent college grad, was on her first business trip. To cope with the stress of being a real, live functioning adult with a paycheck rather than allowance, she went to a local bar near the hotel with her team of coworkers. You know, studies have shown a company that drinks together is in fact more productive. So in the spirit of this very scientific, social business theory they proceeded to have many drinks. Unfortunately productivity is not based on how many drinks you have…but Amanda ignored this and was pretty much blacked out before the 10:00pm news came on. But right before she totally lost control, in strolled a hot professional hockey player (we will leave the team name anonymous). It wasn’t too long before the young professional and the professional hockey player, ProWeight, were on their way back to his apartment. It was a hot bachelor pad that matched his whole overall hotness. A true hunk and from what she could tell, good manweight. The apartment overlooked what Amanda thought was all of New York. It was intoxicating and served as a total aphrodisiac (the 6 shots of tequila from earlier also helped). They had a wonderful manweight session in his pimp apartment. And like a true grown up, Amanda woke up the next morning and put on all her professional attire from the night before. Time for her first walk of shame in slacks, a blouse and sensible heals…but hot ProWeight was totally worth it even though she couldn’t quite recall his name!

Your Votes Are In...

36% of voters say that RugbyWeight is a heavyweight.

Location: Cayman Islands
Occupation: Accounting
Hometown: Crowborough, England
Favorite Bars: Aqua Beach, The Wharf, TripleCrown, Hammerheads (Cayman Islands)
Favorite Drink: British Ale
Favorite Spot to meet Women: Work or Travelling
Interests: Rugy, Scuba Diving, Triathalon
Favorite Music: The Killers, Fedder (British Band)
Favorite Place to have sex: on a table or the living room floor...

ExWeight

It’s the moment every girl dreads…running into an ex on a night out with the girls. It’s a night when you aren’t supposed to think about anything but having fun. Having fun was just what Mackenzie was doing when she saw him. ExWeight was looking good. He had on one of those cool t-shirts and a hot blazer that looked like it was made for him. They said their awkward hello and Mackenzie tried to focus on her night with the ladies. But every time she had the opportunity, she’d swing her dancing head in his direction to catch a peek. The good thing was, every time she snuck that peek, he was already peeping her. During their final conversation at the bar, ExWeight and Mackenzie decided to head out together and go back to his place. When she got back to his apartment they began to hook up. ExWeight went to the bathroom. Mackenzie needed the bathroom because it had dawned on her that she was on the final hours of her period and she desperately had to get rid of the tampon if she wanted to have sex. The manweight was so good that she wasn’t going to let the slight possibility of the end of her period stop her from getting what she wanted. She dashed from the bedroom to the kitchen and looked around for the garbage can. Duh…It had to be in the cabinet under the kitchen sink. There wasn’t any garbage can, but there was tampon in Mackenzie’s hand. ExWeight was now calling her from the bedroom where his weight was waiting. She tossed the tampon under the sink and slammed the cabinet! Desperate times call for desperate measures and manweight is no exception.

CockyWeight

Everyone has a good we-met-on-the-internet story these days. Alyssa has a couple…One in particular really stuck in her head. The IM conversation went from “how old are you” and “what school did you go to,” to how huge his cock was. This was a totally logical conversational jump that intrigued Alyssa. He claimed, promised, and swore up and down that it would be the biggest, thickest thing she’d ever seen, and in a good way. Every guy says that and usually when they do they are full of shit. This makes the big cock claim more of a dare. It’s like you need to see if he is lying or not. So Alyssa told him to meet her at her local bar The Town Tavern. She considered it a mission... "Mission Cock Tease". Alyssa had seen or had, if you will, many a big cock and considered herself a good judge of charockature (the character of cock). After a couple of drinks to loosen up, she took CockyWeight back to her laboratory for analysis. He whipped it out… “one huge, giant, slab of flacid meat.” She starred in awe, shock and fright. Even with all her studies and analysis, never had she seen such cockage. They began to hook up and he began to get harder and harder. Alyssa had to evaluate the situation quickly. There was no way she could fit it in her mouth, so she went straight to phase 2; sex. The tip was barely inside of her and “it was the most painful thing” she’d ever experienced. This was not going to happen. He was too cocky. Conclusion: Big isn’t always better or careful what you wish for.

DoubleWeight

Lacey planned to meet a guy she had been seeing (aka sleeping with) for a couple months for dinner. She also planned to meet a new guy she was talking to for drinks later that same night. Weight1 was her weight in the neighborhood, always good to have on reserve. They had a lovely dinner date and as usual, they went back to his place and started fooling around. Fooling around led to fucking around and before Lacey knew it, she was having sex. Drinks with Weight2 were the furthest thing from her mind until he was calling on her cell phone. Lacey quickly finished up, made an excuse why she had to leave and went off to meet Weight2. They talked, drank, and he walked her home. He asked her if he could come upstairs with her and even though she wasn’t really feeling him, something about his pleading puppy eyes turned her on and almost made her feel sorry for him. Lacey and Weight2 had a few more drinks at the edge of her bed in her studio apartment. Not having a couch really moves things to the bedroom quickly as all you need to do is lie back. They began making out and she did just that. The position of being on her back reminded Lacey it wasn’t 4 hours before that she was in the exact same position with Weight1! While her mind wandered so did Weight2’s head…yeah…right in between her legs! Now that’s a DoubleWeight.

Your Votes Are In...

53% of voters say that LegalWeight is a HeavyWeight

Occupation: Law Student/Owner of Drukker clothing
Hometown: Scarsdale
Favorite Bars: House Parties, Hiro, Good World
Favorite Pizza: Ben's on Spring Street
What he wears: Country Club Punk Attire
Favorite Restaurant: Raoul's
Favorite Drink: Greyhound (Vodka and Grapefruit juice)
Favorite spot to meet women: Myspace.com
Favorite Blog: www.overheardinnewyork.com

SurfWeight

Betty was in beddie early one morning, but she wasn’t asleep. Oh no, Betty was getting rocked by one hot Surfer weight. They had been out all night, drinking and carrying on. All the shots of buttery nipples, Washington apples, and Jagermeister had caught up with their shenanigans and eventually led to this early morning weight training session. It wasn’t until around 8:00 am when Betty and her SurfWeight had finally caught the perfect wave. Everything was going amazing. His blond hair was sexily messy from all their rolling around, his chest and arms looked so very buff. He was such excellent weight that Betty would have been just as satisfied having his weight, but this was way better, Betty thought, as she rode his board. They switched back into missionary and she grabbed her headboard as she prepared to ride her final wave of the day…the one that would bring her right to the shore of climax beach. “Betty?” As she heard her name, she saw her father coming into her bedroom. The swell of her final wave of the day quickly disappeared and she yelled, “It’s a boyfriend!!!” Yes, this would help her poor father cope with the fact he’d just seen his only daughter getting railed by big, buff SurfWeight. Thank goodness manweights are like waves. There’s always another one right behind.

ChaunWeight

It all went down at Hannah’s favorite Irish pub in Rome. Picture this: A rugby match with Italy playing Ireland. They had the best seats in the bar. By best I mean right next to a group of hot boys, who were conveniently already drunk. Two tables became one as the two groups joined and seeing one became seeing double. Hannah decided that her “favorite leprechaun in the group was Carl...terrible name, amazing body, adorable accent.” We’ll call him ChaunWeight.

What better drink to drink with the Irish than Irish Car Bombs? And what better drink to get bombed with than Irish Car Bombs? The heavy drinking and heavy petting, eh I mean, dancing, led to heavy making out. At around 2:00 am, the bar was closing but this didn’t mean it was the end of the night for Hannah and hopefully not for ChaunWeight. What a fabulous idea...why not take little ChaunWeight home with her? (Maybe it was partly because he was barely 18). A firm arm tugging got him away from his group of friends. His friends calling after them "wait he doesn't know how to get back" Hannah thought to herself, "who cares about his friends…I'm gonna get some Irish weight."

Given the fact that ChaunWeight had been drinking since approximately 9:00 am, Hannah was ready for the possibility that she could encounter a wicked case of whiskey dick but she quickly learned …“never underestimate the drinking capacities of the Irish.” They did it until the sun came up and then some. The following day, Hannah courteously led him to a piazza to meet his friends because as they’d warned her, ChaunWeight wouldn’t remember the name of his hotel. As the two exchanged awkward conversation, Hannah commented on how drunk he was the night before. His response, while taking a sexy drag from their joint cigarette, and she quotes "Fuck, I still am.”

Mr.Weight

It was an average Saturday night for Zoë. A group of her girlfriends got dressed up, got together and got drunk. Not fall down drunk, but tipsy enough to deal with the hellish crowds at lounges on a weekend night in New York City, where it appears all bridges and tunnels lead. The gaggle of girls were headed to a spot Plumm, where there was a hot DJ and your typical hipster downtown type crowd. After being granted access to the lounge via the red rope outside, Zoë and her friends made their way up the club’s stairs and to one of the party promoters tables. An overpriced bottle of Absolute was chilling on ice for them. One of the promoters, standing omnipotent behind his shield of liquid confidence (otherwise known as that bottle of Absolute) was one quite handsome manweight. They called him Mr. Lounge. You could find him at most of the hotspots, only on the “good nights” at each of course and if you were a girl, showing enough cleavage and gratitude in the form of insincere flattery, you too could have at the bottle. Zoë had both cleavage and sincere gratitude for every sip of her free drink. She and Mr.Weight, as we’ll call him, got along very well and started seeing each other regularly. He was good weight and had a hot body. They totally had chemistry….around 4:00 am. One night when they were hooking up, or rather Zoë was going down on Mr.Weight, all of a sudden something went wrong. “Are you cumming?” Zoë asked Mr.Weight “No…” Zoë looked down at his dick and saw there was a tear in the condom. Not only that, her teeth must have scrapped the exposed surface, and he was bleeding! Mr.Weight jumped up scared shitless of what else Zoë’s mouth was capable of. For the rest of the night, Zoë appreciated his manweight… in the cuddling sense.

Your Votes Are In...

48% of voters say that BoroughWeight is a MiddleWeight

Occupation: Staff Writer for Complex Magazine / DJ
Favorite Bars: Pacifico, Rewind
Hometown: Brooklyn
Favorite Neighborhood: Brooklyn Heights
Where you can find him: Spinning at Novo on Saturday Nights
Favorite Cuisine: Baked Mac & Cheese and Cereal
Favorite song: Dolla Bill by Red Cafe featuring Fabulous.
Favorite Blog: www.lvnproof.blogspot.com

SnowWeight

Ana was babysitting on a ski trip in the beautiful snow-covered mountains of Colorado when she saw a young snow honey on the slopes. This weight was athletic. The precision with which he carved his way down the mountain made her hot. He must have caught a glimpse of Ana’s mountains because in no time she was chatting it up with SnowWeight. It wasn’t until five hours later that she realized she was a little more “advanced” than he was, and I am not talking about snowboarding level. He was a junior in high school, an illegal 18 years old and Ana was a senior in college, a barely legal 21. They decided to meet up later in Ana’s hotel room. Ready to party like it was 2022, (when SnowWeight would be 21), she bought a bottle of the finest Smirnoff. After a few drinks, it wasn’t the Smir that was off, but their pants. It wasn’t until after the 18-second (a solid one second for every year) ride that Ana realized she was more advanced than him in other areas too; SnowWeight was a virgin!

SleepyWeight

In a suburb outside of Washington, DC, there lived a girl named Pam. Pam loved to party and was quite a regular at one of the local bars. There was one night a week that was particularly loved: Thursday night, two-for-one drink specials. As she didn’t miss a Thursday, she got very familiar with the other patrons and devotees to the Thursday night debauchery. Pam got so familiar that one Thursday she invited a fellow drink-special enthusiast back to her place. The only problem was that she had a single bed. In order to avoid the awkward, inevitable contortions she would have to suffer through if she shared her single bed with the man soon to be known as SleepyWeight, she promptly blew up an air mattress. Exhausted from all that glass lifting, both SleepyWeight and Pam were, well, sleepy. With one arm around her waist, they fell asleep without so much as a kiss. Pam was completely content with just getting a little manweight. A couple nights later, SleepyWeight called Pam and said he was in the neighborhood and he came over. Pam blew up the mattress and they went to sleep the same way as before. It was nice, but come on, a little weird that there was no other action besides the manweight spooning sessions. This happened another 3 times before Pam began to pay attention to what, or shall I say who, SleepyWeight was on the phone with. Turns out SleepyWeight’s baby’s mother (who he “wasn’t with anymore”) “never left [him] the fuck alone.” Pam’s house was an escape. No hard feelings though. After all, Pam was using him for manweight and he was using her for her air mattress!

GoldWeight

Liza was on the last night of an all-inclusive vacation at a Club Med in Cuba. During the nightly dance performance for the guests, she spotted one particularly fine, tan little dancer. She wanted this tiny Latin dancer to hold her close. Liza made it her mission to find him after his performance and ended up drinking and drinking and, yes, drinking a little more. Soon enough, she and her dancer ended up back in his staff quarters. Sooo Dirty Dancing! Who wouldn’t want their own private dance? They began to hook up. She took off her shirt, he took off his, revealing the very pecs that had been trying to break through his extremely tight, black shirt all night. Next off were Liza’s pants, exposing her turquoise thong. He crawled backwards off the bed to get himself in proper position to seductively pull down the fly of his also notably tight, black pants. As he lowered his zipper, something shiny caught Liza’s eye. She’d struck gold! GoldWeight was wearing a gold lamé thong. Some girls might take this as a sign to turn back, but not Liza. They started hooking up and one thing led to another, which led to GoldWeight putting on a condom. He stuck it in halfway, not all the way, just half. Liza realized she was sleeping with a stranger in a gold thong. She stopped it right then and there and headed back to her room. No one puts it in Liza’s corner!

Your Votes Are In...

17% of voters say that VillageWeight is a LightWeight.

Occupation: Student/DJ
Hometown: NYC (West Village)
School: Alleghany College, Meadeville, PA
Favorite Bars: Milady’s, O’Hannlen, Sway, 205
Favorite Restaurant: John’s Pizza, Mama’s Food Shop
Favorite Tshirt: NBA Knicks Jam Session (1996)
Interests: Pegleg.com, drinking and hardcore drugs, golf
Favorite Spot to Meet Women: Planned Parenthood
Most Recently Played on his ipod: “Killer Parties”The Hold Steady



18% of voters say that SkateWeight is a HeavyWeight

Location: East Village, NYC
Occupation: Manager of downtown skate shop, Supreme.
Favorite Bar: Odeon
Favorite Drink: Heineken
Favorite Restaurant: Pakistani Tea House
Favorite Pizza: Joes pizza on Carmine
Interests: Starks Laces, Skating, Surfing
Favorite NYC neighborhood: Tribeca, which Skate weight Refers to as L.W.S

OuiWeight

During Jasmine’s junior year abroad in Paris she’d become quite fond of a young man in her class who we’ll call Ouiweight. She was out one late night with the girls. It was one of those nights, well, that she barely remembers. Jasmine was supposed to meet Ouiweight after she “finished this one last drink with [her] girls.” Next thing she knew it was 2 hours after she should have been, by this point, enjoying a wee bit of Ouiweight. Miraculously, she found a cab and off she went…she went so off that she missed his building by two blocks. As Jasmine stumbled down hill, she saw Ouiweight waiting and wasn’t werey wappy. A wise weight, he advised Jasmine to “just go to sleep” and so she did. Shoes and all. In the morning, the sun woke her up. The morning after monologue (a common trend among most girls who do a bit of boozing and feel the need to string together the multitude “incidents” that may or may not have occurred the night before). IN HER HEAD: “Jesus I sweat a lot last night. My pants are totally soaked. Wait, if I have my pants on that probably means I didn’t have sex last night. Oh yeah…is he mad? Well, I guess I will have sex now and make it up to him.” Jasmine peeled off her pants and climbed on top of Ouiweight. As he woke up to the rocking of his boat, he began to feel the moisture of the ocean. He was actually feeling the bed around their loveboat. “Did you pee the bed?!” The pants, the sweat, shit, it wasn’t sweat at all! It was pee! Realizing she’d peed, Jasmine debarked. It was then she realized not only had she had sex with him a top her pee, but she had been surfing the crimson tied. Blood was not only on the pissed on sheets, but all over Ouiweight. To try and recompose herself, Jamsine, perched on the edge of the wet foam (yes, foam) mattress and lit a cigarette. Two pulls and one wave of nausea, rushed 16 drinks up from her stomach. Puke. Everywhere. That was it. Jasmine apologized, for the third time, gathered the gross sheets with promises of bleach and a good ironing and off she went…wee wee wee wee all the way home.

BroadWeight

It was Jamie’s first date with a manweight she’d met at a bar, Wicked Willies, over the weekend. That Monday, a coworker had offered her two tickets to a Knicks game. Instead of calling her best girlfriends, as Jamie normally would, she called the manweight. I mean, how cool would she be? A girl taking a guy to the Knicks game for a first date…that screams cool chick. And what better place to have a practically blind date? (Jamie barely remembered what the manweight looked like (besides the fact he looked really good in his t-shirt), so it had to be a public place). Madison Square Garden is totally public and if they had nothing to say to each other they could always just watch the game. Plus, with the price of a beer, there was no way she could get embarrassingly drunk. Jamie waited for her weight outside of MSG, looking at every buff, black guy that walked by with suspicion. Then he appeared. This guy’s broad, muscular shoulders filled out his hoody as well as they had his t-shirt. That had to be him. He strolled up to her, “Jamie?” he asked. “Yes!” replied Jamie, proud she could pick his body out of a crowd as well as she had the night she’d met him. They made their way inside to their seats. It was then Jamie realized the kind of weight she was dealing with; BroadWeight. He took up his chair plus some, and in a good way. He was so muscular he could barely contain himself in his seat. BroadWeight’s quad muscles pressed against his jeans, as if they were trying to burst free. He struggled to find a comfortable position to rest his massive arms and, fortunately for Jamie, that position would be around her. Just like the cliché move to yawn and stretch, BroadWeight extended one of his wonderfully large arms around her, encompassing her whole upper body. It felt so good to be surrounded by manweight. From tip off to fourth quarter buzzer, Jamie reveled in the comfort, and weight, of her BroadWeight. If the weight was this amazing in plastic, stadium seats, Jaime imagined how amazing it would be somewhere softer, say oh, a bed. (PS It was even better in bed).

JWeight

Michelle was sick of meeting douchebag dudes in downtown dive bars. She wanted more than just the drunken make out and fake numbers, so she did what any woman does nowdays…and signed herself up on a dating website, jdate.com. After a few clicks around, 25 profile readings , and a couple winks later, Michelle had settled on one fine fella, Jweight. Dark hair on his head on his chest made for one intrigued girl and it wasn’t long before the two started exchanging dirty messages . It was in the third message that Jweight proposed a class. His class sucked. Literally, sucked. He offered to teach Michelle how to smoke his pole. An avid learner and born adventure, Michelle knelt at the challenge! The date was set for a Monday evening at 4 pm. It was 5:59 when Michelle was recounting the details to her friend Emily: “It was unbelievable…he came over, taught me how to give porn star head! Then we fucked against the window!” Michelle said, with pride and amazement of her won actions. Jweight and Michelle had the suckiest jdate ever.

FireWeight

Ellie and her friends went to Puck Fair, a local NYC bar, in search of manweight. When one is on a real manweight hunt, one must think about the bar with the most potential for weight. Manweight in uniform tend to hang out together and in select bars. Uniformweight is always a safe bet. Like shooting fish in a barrel. Ellie shot one alright. She began sending out the vibe to this tall fireman. His broad muscular shoulders were a good indication of some solid weight. After flirting a lot and drinking more, the two of them headed back to Ellie's place. She had no intention of having sex with him but wanted some hot weight, and who better to get some hot weight from than a man that works with fire. Things progressed once they were in the bedroom (as they tend to). He started jerking himself off and moaning. Ellie closed her eyes, arching her head back, reveling in the great weight she was getting when all of a sudden she was the one that got shot…in the face, by Fireweight's own hose. It put any heat between him and Ellie right out.

ShortWeight

Once upon a short manweight there was a girl named Amanda. During her weekly Wednesday night visit to Villanova University, her best friend's college, she would get weight from this rather small man. He was definitely smaller than her, considering his head was as big as one of her boobs, but he was good weight. After a wild night of making out with Shortweight against the wall of PJ Henry's, Amanda and another good friend, Penelope, went back to his house. Shortweight's roommate joined the weight-night party and started hooking up with Penelope. All four of them ended up in Mateweight's bedroom. Shortweight, who was lying on top of Amanda, got up for a second. When the weight returned it was different; it was Mateweight. It was a weight swap! Oh weight a night…

BallerWeight

Nicole had an on-again-off-again weight from one hot piece of manweight who was a basketball player at Georgetown University। Ballerweight was good looking, cut, and possessed an ass that should be used as the sculpture industry's ass standard. She hadn't seem him in a while, but when her phone rang on a random Tuesday night and it was a very drunk Ballerweight, she shut down her computer and hopped into the shower immediately, scrubbing up to prepare for her weight-training session. When he arrived at her place, things were quickly taken to the bed where she began to suck on his manmeat to get the game going. Not far into the warm up, Ballerweight said he was going to come. Nicole could definitely be one of the starting five on a dick-sucking team, but this would have to be some sort of all-city record for "coming time". Ballerweight shoots and he pees!!!..."You are peeing in my mouth! Time the fuck out, playa!" How did he not know he was peeing and not coming? The only reaction Nicole could think of, besides crying, was laughing. This had gone from manweight to wet weight, and by wet we don't mean the good kind.

IrishWeight

Home from college, our friend Sally settled back in with her parents for the summer. Very soon after, she met this hot piece of Irish weight at Nevada Smith's and began dating him. He was a carpenter who she could barely understand, but between his blue eyes and smokin' hot bod, the conversation wasn't exactly the focal point. After a few dates, Sally couldn't resist extending an invitation back to her place. Eh, I mean her parents' place. After rolling his weight around for a while, Sally decided she'd had enough weight for one night and walked him to her elevator. Irishweight pulled her into the elevator for one last kiss although she was only clad in boxers, a titi shirt from her night out, and one sock. When they reached the lobby, she realized she'd forgotten her keys, and needless to say, her cell phone. Sally's solution was a piggy back ride to the nearest payphone (the corner) and a collect call to her mother to let her know that she was going to be buzzing and to let her in. Please do take the time to think about what went through her mother's mind upon seeing the elevator open and Sally step out. For weight's sake!